Monkey Picking Fleas

Monkeys Picking Fleas is a blog about monkeys wearing colored hats who pick fleas out of other monkeys’ fur. It’s mainly the brainchild of one monkey, Paz the capuchin, who lives at the Coulston Foundation Primate Center in New Mexico. The blog is also founded on the fact that all monkeys are equal, including flea-picking monkeys. “I don’t pick any more fleas than any other monkey here,” said Paz. “I write these posts as a public service.”

Well, it wouldn’t be a blog post on monkeys picking fleas if I didn’t say it was kind of like when you’re trying to do something very quickly, but you keep missing every time and getting frustrated. You just can’t seem to get things done at 100%, it feels like you’re just never good enough. Well, maybe you aren’t good enough. Then again, maybe you are. And that’s an important distinction for those who people out there who feel like they have too much on the plate, too many tasks to be accomplished in too little time; I mean really there isn’t enough time in the day.

Once upon a time there was a foolish flea that decided it would be better than its neighbors. Possibly it had built up a lot of frustration for not being able to jump very high. Regardless, it met with the other fleas in the neighborhood and talked about ways to make them all jump higher. They spoke of many ideas, like eating more vegetables or jumping more often, but they did not do much at all. They were merrily jumping along when they came across a family of monkeys picking fleas off each-other one at a time. Somehow this gave them an idea. They would try to pick off their neighbors one at a time. So they went through their colony and started picking off fleas in order to show them how it was done properly. This worked well for some years but eventually they ran out of neighbors and starved to death, alone and hungry. The moral of the story is: don’t try to pick your neighbors off because there will come a point when you won’t have any left

You’re sitting in a dark room. You have no clue where you are or how you got there. There’s an old TV set in front of you, and it’s showing what looks like local news. Monkeys are picking fleas off each other, the anchorwoman is wearing a wig that looks more like a radioactive disaster, and she’s enunciating words that don’t match up with the images they show. The music they play seems to be coming from your neighbor’s house, where the only thing that isn’t annoying is the smell coming out of their kitchen — which seems to be pizza.

Monkey Picking Fleas

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This is a monkey picking fleas.

He’s not a very good picker, though—he keeps falling asleep and missing the fleas.

It’s okay, though! He just needs more practice.

list of Monkey Picking Fleas